Thursday, 28 July 2016

How to Survive the "Work Night Out"


 1. DON'T OVERDRESS

It can be difficult to know what to wear. It's tempting to throw on your Friday night finest with skyscraper heels, but take a minute to think about what kind of evening you're heading to. Is it a pub? You'll need flats... Is it a bar? You might need to prepare to face an outdoor seating area. You don't want to be the girl that everyone is waiting for as she totters between venues in the rain...


 2. EAT DINNER

Let's be honest- a work night out in Britain will include alcohol every single time. It's easy to get swept up in the evening and head straight from the office to the vodka. THIS IS A BAD PLAN. If you wouldn't go out on a Saturday night without eating a meal beforehand then don't do it on your work night out. You'll end up leaving early, with 'Trish from accounting' responsible for finding a cab that will take you home. You giant mess.


 3. DON'T DRINK TOO MUCH

This is by far the most cringe thing you can do on a work night out. I've seen it 900 times. The new girl decides that she's going to be "the one that can drink you under the table". 2 hours later she's crying in the smoking area and she's given the boss her entire life story. Did you know that she can do the splits? YOU DO NOW. THE GLASS COLLECTOR KNOWS. THE FREAKIN' BAR STAFF KNOW. Don't be that guy.


 4. PACE YOURSELF

This goes hand in hand with not drinking too much, but actually the reason you need to pace yourself is because ALL the best stuff happens after all the rookies get too pissed and go home. All the secrets come out, all the embarrassing things happen. Luke takes Sarah back to his hotel room "to look after her". The bosses loosen up and finally tell you what happened to Adam who was asked to leave with immediate effect. ALL THE BEST THINGS HAPPEN IN THE LAST THIRD OF THE EVENING. Pace yourself. 


 5. BE A HUMAN, NOT A CAREERBOT

The temptation, especially after a few drinks, is to corner your boss and tell him exactly why you deserve the promotion coming up or how hard you've been working on a particular project. Actually, the fun bit of a work night out is getting to know your colleagues more as human beings. Make it your goal to learn a few things about your team members, or to talk to new people. It's really dull to listen to your mate talk about work all night and this applies just as much on work nights out. Also, you look like a champion corporate arse-licker when you do that. VOM. 


 6. SHOW UP FOR WORK THE NEXT DAY

If you are a professional person, somebody who is in control of their shit and works hard, you would NEVER not show up to work the day after a boozy work night out. It is the biggest amateur move you can make, and you will never hear the end of it. Turn up after throwing up in the carpark? Absolutely fine. Phone in sick after a work night out? Your card is marked. Get yourself out of bed, bosh the painkillers and get a McDonalds drive through on the way in if you absolutely have to. The important thing is that you're at your desk at 9am SHARP.


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