When I was young I watched a billion romcoms about dates; broken stilettos, 'foot pops', late night pizza; it was all so magical and romantic. It occurred to me that dating does somewhat change the longer you and your partner are together though, doesn't it?
OHHHH the year one dates. The YEAR ONE DATES. A lot of effort used to go into a year one date. Outfit planning started the evening before, and the restaurant was always something romantic and exciting, maybe even borderline expensive. Year one dates were about learning all you could about your new man and finding all of it 100% captivating and insightful... "Oh you don't think we should remain in the EU? That is SO FASCINATING!"
- Outfit: Dress, heels, Mums posh fur lined coat
- Dinner: Some sort of fish dish that you didn't 100% fancy but comes with vegetables rather than chips
- Units of alcohol consumed: 1 small glass of wine
Year two is somewhat 'less' when it comes to forced romance but a lot more when it comes to 'weird'. It's definitely still Proper Date Night territory, but conversation about work and weather have been replaced by conversation about whether his sister ACTUALLY likes you, and what animal you would be in your next life. I'm going to be a cat, obviously.
- Outfit: Jeans, heels, blouse
- Dinner: Steak with mash potato and some token tenderstem broccoli
- Units of alcohol consumed: 2 small glasses of wine
YEARS THREE AND FOUR
- Outfit: His jogging bottoms, his hoodie, his socks. Potentially his pants.
- Dinner: Chinese takeaway
- Units of alcohol consumed: 3 beers
What is a date? Does anyone date these days? What does that even mean? Date night in year five mainly consists of talking about dates that your friends are going on, peppered with reminders to send his Mum a birthday card. "SHOTGUN NOT LOADING THE DISHWASHER" is the most passionate phrase of date night in year five.
- Outfit: Whatever you wore to work
- Dinner: Some sort of pasta that he cooked without you asking him to which you appreciate loads, and not just because he did a shit load of garlic bread with it.
- Units of alcohol consumed: 4 large glasses of cornershop wine
Year six is the year of the old couples date, and it's been my absolute favourite so far. We've got a bit more money to spend on going to NICE places and ordering the same thing we always do. We're married now, so we can enjoy gloating about our happily married life every date night which is super fun. "OMG I didn't tell you! So and so broke up!"
- Outfit: At this point I don't think he'd be surprised if I turned up wearing a unicorn onesie
- Dinner: The usual, at that Thai place we always go to
- Units of alcohol consumed: 2 bottles of wine followed by whatever we can find in the cupboard at home once we're pissed